2010 seemed so mehh~ I don't really know what the word to use is but last year felt really.. emotionless, especially towards the end cuz it was just studies studies studies and nothing else.
But it wasn't all emotionless cuz I think I faced 3 major setbacks in my life well they do sound really juvenile in retrospect but the sadness I felt was indeed overwhelming at each point in time.
First of all was Nationals, my first and last. Till now I really don't know how I could've screwed up on April 7 cuz I thought I had repeated the routine till death and in fact I thought I could hit 370s and maybe even break the 380 I got just a month ago. What happened doesn't matter anymore but it just didn't work out I guess and it sucked to disappoint. Cried for like 3 days what the shit. I can't say that I regret or whatever cuz I believed I tried even though perhaps not hard enough to deal with the unforeseen circumstances such as my blocker being too large and my gloves being too big and touching the rifle such that Coach had to cut it on the spot it was so embarrassing. I'm not blaming anyone but it was just unfortunate that I scored a score I got when I went for my first shoot. To me it kinda felt like I started and ended on the exact same place, whatever progress I made in the middle just went to waste. And the sacrifices I made to train intensively from December - March. Like how I neglected my studies, resulting in the U for Chem which was quite funny cuz half the team got U too. Had to pick up the pieces in remedial and tuition in the end, but that's no biggie.
The good thing that emerged from Nationals is actually friendship. That with Rachel and Xin En. I'm so thankful for Rachel for being like the major pillar of support in Shooting!! Truth be told if there's no Rachel Shooting would seriously bore the crap out of me. Anyway, she kept telling me "Everything happens for a reason" and yes sometimes we just gotta find the reason. And I confirmed not for the first time that Xe is realllllly my confidante I could tell her anything man and she could comfort me by giving me another perspective and stuff. It's unlike other people who didn't really think I was affected by it, yeah.
Next it's CT 2. I spent almost every single day of the June holidays studying and yet I still failed Chem and worse I got U for Math too (which got bumped up to an S, lol Beatrice and Xe will know). I just felt really dumb during that period like seriously I didn't study so hard for shit and when I got back results it was like what, another 2 months to Prelims and another 2 to A's?? Of course fearful la. I know that this is smth I will not even remember cuz it's such a minor problem now looking back.
But actually the worst thing was the upset friendship it was the first time my friendship with anyone since I had friends at like 4 years old in kindergarten turned sour. It was a result of a mixture of bad things such as pms and it took like close to half a year to be mended. Of course glad it was and I learned things about myself too.. I think I could've dealt with it more magnanimosity actually whoops.
Post A's was very satisfying too the major ketchup sessions with friends over good food, Dinosaurs, Australia, movies, doing hair and feeling like we've really grown up to do stuff we couldn't do while still in school, family time and taking everything nice and slow.. *bliss*
And I kept to my main resolution of 2010 which was to not take fast food and test my determination. I steered away from McDonald's, Kfc, Long John Silver's for 365 days. (I believe that Mos Burger and Yoshinoya are exceptions and healthy or healthier choices so I excluded them lol I don't care.) And I don't care how lame my resolution sounds I did it nananana.
I did start the year on the right note too. The first moments of 2011 were spent at work and serve to remind me of the fact that I should find a job soon and work hard till uni. Yup and I know what I'm saving for so it's not all blind and meaningless!
CHEERS TO A GOOD ONE
But it wasn't all emotionless cuz I think I faced 3 major setbacks in my life well they do sound really juvenile in retrospect but the sadness I felt was indeed overwhelming at each point in time.
First of all was Nationals, my first and last. Till now I really don't know how I could've screwed up on April 7 cuz I thought I had repeated the routine till death and in fact I thought I could hit 370s and maybe even break the 380 I got just a month ago. What happened doesn't matter anymore but it just didn't work out I guess and it sucked to disappoint. Cried for like 3 days what the shit. I can't say that I regret or whatever cuz I believed I tried even though perhaps not hard enough to deal with the unforeseen circumstances such as my blocker being too large and my gloves being too big and touching the rifle such that Coach had to cut it on the spot it was so embarrassing. I'm not blaming anyone but it was just unfortunate that I scored a score I got when I went for my first shoot. To me it kinda felt like I started and ended on the exact same place, whatever progress I made in the middle just went to waste. And the sacrifices I made to train intensively from December - March. Like how I neglected my studies, resulting in the U for Chem which was quite funny cuz half the team got U too. Had to pick up the pieces in remedial and tuition in the end, but that's no biggie.
The good thing that emerged from Nationals is actually friendship. That with Rachel and Xin En. I'm so thankful for Rachel for being like the major pillar of support in Shooting!! Truth be told if there's no Rachel Shooting would seriously bore the crap out of me. Anyway, she kept telling me "Everything happens for a reason" and yes sometimes we just gotta find the reason. And I confirmed not for the first time that Xe is realllllly my confidante I could tell her anything man and she could comfort me by giving me another perspective and stuff. It's unlike other people who didn't really think I was affected by it, yeah.
Next it's CT 2. I spent almost every single day of the June holidays studying and yet I still failed Chem and worse I got U for Math too (which got bumped up to an S, lol Beatrice and Xe will know). I just felt really dumb during that period like seriously I didn't study so hard for shit and when I got back results it was like what, another 2 months to Prelims and another 2 to A's?? Of course fearful la. I know that this is smth I will not even remember cuz it's such a minor problem now looking back.
But actually the worst thing was the upset friendship it was the first time my friendship with anyone since I had friends at like 4 years old in kindergarten turned sour. It was a result of a mixture of bad things such as pms and it took like close to half a year to be mended. Of course glad it was and I learned things about myself too.. I think I could've dealt with it more magnanimosity actually whoops.
Nothing really over the moon happy happened but my 18th birthday was very sweeeet I loved the lemon cheesecake Elyssa made it was moderately sweet and super good! Also the fact that I celebrated my 18th with all the friends I made in Rg whom I cared about and am still close to. I managed to maintain most of my friendships even though at varying points in time I wasn't that close to whoever and whoever after A's everything was ok once more :) The breakfasts, lunches and dinners at Han's on weekends with Weihui were quite memorable also we'd always have focaccias (gotta get them soon) and occasionally uglyo olio. And the late nights in school with the usual bunch having cup noodles from 711 as well as free food.
Post A's was very satisfying too the major ketchup sessions with friends over good food, Dinosaurs, Australia, movies, doing hair and feeling like we've really grown up to do stuff we couldn't do while still in school, family time and taking everything nice and slow.. *bliss*
And I kept to my main resolution of 2010 which was to not take fast food and test my determination. I steered away from McDonald's, Kfc, Long John Silver's for 365 days. (I believe that Mos Burger and Yoshinoya are exceptions and healthy or healthier choices so I excluded them lol I don't care.) And I don't care how lame my resolution sounds I did it nananana.
I did start the year on the right note too. The first moments of 2011 were spent at work and serve to remind me of the fact that I should find a job soon and work hard till uni. Yup and I know what I'm saving for so it's not all blind and meaningless!
CHEERS TO A GOOD ONE
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